Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ko gusurira umukunzi wawe cyangwa uwo mwashakanye ari ikimenyetso gikomeye cy’urukundo
Ubusanzwe gusura ni igikorwa buri wese aho ava akagera akora ariko benshi birinda kubikorera mu ruhame cyangwa bari kumwe n’abantu babo b’ingenzi cyane nk’inshuti bitewe nuko baba bifuza guhora bagaragaza uruhande rwabo rwiza gusa.
Iyo umubano wakomeje kuba mwiza rero buri wese akiyumva muri mugenzi we hari igihe baba bameze nk’abavandimwe batagitinyana ku buryo buri wese yakora buri kimwe nta soni afite.
Ese gusura uri kumwe n’umukunzi wawe ni ikibazo?
Gusura ni ibintu bisanzwe nk’uko twabivuze haruguru ndetse ntiwabihagarika burundu nk’uko utareka kurya, kurira, guseka n’ibindi, ni igikorwa kibera mu mara aho aba yohereza umwuka utari mwiza hanze kandi ni ikimenyetso cy’ubuzima bwiza kuko haramutse hariho umuntu utabikora yaba afite ikibazo gikomeye.
N’ubwo akenshi bifatwa nk’igikorwa giteye isoni ariko ubushakashatsi burabivuguruza aho bushimangira ko icyo gikorwa iyo gikozwe n’umuntu ari kumwe n’umukunzi we cyangwa uwo bashakanye bifatwa nk’ikimenyetso cy’urukundo nyarukundo.
Umwe mu bakoraga ubu bushakashatsi ari we Decesare, mu gitabo yanditse cyitwa Naked Parenting avugamo ubuhamya bwe aho avuga ko umunsi wa mbere asurira umugabo we ari na wo munsi umunezero n’urukundo rwinshi byatashye mu rugo rwabo kuko umugabo we yahise yongera kwifuza kuzasazana n’umugore we kubera icyo gikorwa gifatwa nk’igisuzuguritse yari akoze.
Niba utajya witangira ukabona urasuze uri kumwe n’umukunzi wawe kandi utabasha kubikorera mu ruhame, nuko wiyumva neza kandi ukaba wumva utekanye rwose, ibyo byerekana urukundo rukomeye mufitanye mwembi.
Niba ufite umukunzi cyangwa uwo mwashakanye mujya museka cyane mugakwenkwenuka mu gihe umwe muri mwebwe asuze, mbese bikaba intangiriro y’ikiganiro cyanyu ni uko mwembi mukundana cyane ndetse bigaragaza ko ntacyo mujya muhishanya.
Ikindi gikomeye ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ni uko niba utinya gusura uri kumwe n’umukunzi wawe cyangwa uwo mwashakanye bishatse kuvuga ko n’ubusanzwe hari ibindi bintu byinshi umuhisha, muri make ntabwo umwizera na gato. Nyuma yo gusoma iyi nkuru rero ntuzongere kwitangira uri kumwe n’umukunzi wawe, gusura ni igikorwa kizagufasha kwereka uwo ukunda ko umukunda by’ukuri kandi ko ntacyo umukinga.
